I’m not a runner. I’m running a Half-Marathon.

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I’m training for a half-marathon, but I don’t think of myself as a runner. I don’t identify with the culture, I don’t even particularly like running.

Why then, am I training for a half marathon?

To prove I can.

Why do I do anything? It’s a good outlet for that stubbornness I have, makes me feel empowered and feeling worthy. It really could be anything.

I ran my first 5K almost a year ago, and it’s a bit remarkable that only a year later I’m on a training plan for 13.1 miles. I know that if I follow the plan I can do it.

But why running? After all, I was a pretty good bike racer in High School. More of my friends will run though, so its good and social. Plus, in racing, I was always competing to win, while in running, I simply want to prove things to myself, not so much to others.

Running is hard work, and it is not easy to convince myself to train. I train for the end goal only.

To continue my motivation for something so far away (January!), it is nice to feel my body slowly getting better. The distances seem less challanging, I can run better, and I can feel my body slowly falling back into shape like pieces of a puzzle being put together.

Of course, like yesterday, there are those days where you feel awful and as slow and worthless as ever, but I have to remind myself that that is only a single day phenomenon.

Originally written as a diary entry.

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